Now me, I lost my virginity at age 14, and I regret nothing! <:
Also, being a virgin/waiting until marriage is not a ticket into heaven, nor is it a guarantee of a long-lasting marriage. What matters, going into marriage, is the state of each person's heart. Are they ready to look after each other in sickness and in health, even if it means one gets paralyzed from the waist down or suffers brain damage in a car accident? Are they ready to face the prospect of poverty and/or homelessness, hand-in-hand? Will they refuse to stray from their marriage, even when sex doesn't happen as frequently as it did in the early stages?
What God looks for in marriage is purity of the body, yes, but purity in the minds as well. He cares if the people at the altar mean what they say to Him. The ceremony is cute but expensive. The ring is symbolic and easily removed when someone wants to initiate an affair without incriminating themselves.
The people, and their honest-to-goodness devotion to each other from the first date to the last breath, are what truly matter.
And when you say "non-virgins annoy me," you are painting everyone with a broad generalization. You could be judging a non-virgin out there who is/was regularly abused by a family member and was so confused and hurt that he or she just accepted it as normal and never protested. You could be judging a non-virgin out there who had a crush on someone at a party, got drugged, and woke up hours later with a pounding headache and missing their underwear.
I think you need to examine yourself spiritually. The fact that God Himself takes no pleasure in seeing His creations going to hell, and yet you do, is an indicator that you've no more compassion in you than the Pharisees themselves.
We were both virgins when we met, yes. Neither of us expected our relationship to warm up the way that it did, because honestly, dating was the last thing on my mind for most of my life. Due to my father's infidelity against my mother, I swore I'd die single and be damned happy about it.
But then I met my husband-to-be. For six years we went through various trials and tribulations, but we're still together and plan on being together for the next thirty, forty, fifty years.
It is clear that you respect marriage, and I like that you emphasize sexual purity on part of the man as well as the woman ( I don't see that too often). While I'll probably always be stupid to you, your respect for marriage is nonetheless a breath of fresh air to me.
I hope that, when you get married, yours lasts for the rest of your life and that your spouse makes you happy. I hate seeing frivolous marriages that don't last just as much as I hate seeing teens sleeping around and popping out babies they can't take care of.
No, I'm not trying to manipulate you, I'm just simply responding with tidbits that are relevant to the conversation. You're completely free to believe as you wish, and even though we were butting heads before, I don't think it's wise to stray from civility.
And trust me, infidelity is far from my mind. I've no respect for anyone who cheats on a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, because it's not only a breach of trust, but it is an ultimate sign of absolute amorality and lack of empathy toward another person. I cringe when I hear of men who cheat on their pregnant wives because they don't want/can't have sex as often. I cringe when I hear of women who use men as checking accounts. I cringe when I hear about men who ditch their wives/children because they want some young tart who is younger/prettier/tighter than their wives. I cringe when I hear of spousal abuse and domestic violence.
But the truth is, it is often insecure people who cheat. People who feel their worth is tied into how many hearts they lead on, how many beds they lay in, how many people they have pining after them. Usually tied up in mommy or daddy issues, or self-esteem issues that were never resolved.
And my guy is genuinely nice, too. We go for walks, help people who are moving into our apartment complex (try lifting heavy boxes for an hour, ugh), we clean together, cook together, and right now we're playing through Tales of Graces. We love each other's company, and are currently trying to plan out a wedding that is as frugal-yet-personal as possible. But that's us.
Some people just want the attention that comes with relationships, not the substance. Girls who like getting lavished, boys who like getting sex/having a hot girl on their arms. There's people like that in all generations, which is why it's great to see people who stay married and still act like sweethearts after 60 years of marriage. I met an old couple on a cruise a long time ago... They'd been married for 70 something years and were kissing on each other's hands and cheeks.
I think, deep down, a lot of people want that, but are afraid of the future. They're afraid of aging, of not being attractive, of a lot of existential things and distant questions and fears on the horizon. That's why some folks just yuck it up while they're young. You ever seen the shirts in department stores that show a married couple with the male frowning, and the text underneath which reads "Game Over?" That's how a lot of young people think... Marriage is the end of fun. Marriage means you have to grow up. Marriage means responsibility, and owning up to monogamy.
Many people don't appreciate those things, which is why the divorce rate is so high.
No. That's illogical.
You were right in saying that sex is intimate and powerful, which is why my moments with my husband-to-be are kept strictly between us (and my mother, if I have sex-related questions since we've got a great and open relationship).